Make your opponent confused and dazed with, We are so alike in some ways, aren't we? For example, say That's a very odd way to see the situation, rather than You're an idiot. Even if you're extremely angry on the inside, on the outside, you are calm — tell yourself this and your thoughts will respond in kind. In your case, one would have been better than none. I bet your doesn't pick up all the channels. Whenever we hang out, I remember that God really does have a sense of humor. It might help to think to yourself: Look bored and cool at once! You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing. Bear in mind that your opponent's insults are not worth your time or anger.
Student: By staying home Teacher: Why are you talking during my lesson? The key thing is to have the upper hand before you move on. I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and shit out a smarter statement than whatever you just said. Son: Not enough I have to go back again tomorrow. Stop Playing With Me You are living proof that evolution is reversable. It probably doesn't, but this page may contain affiliate links, which means I receive a commission if you make a purchase using such links. Keep Your opinions to yourself I don't have enough middle fingers for you today.
Girl: Then I must not have a lot. Guy: Hey, baby, What's your sign? After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, You know, I was a fool when I married you. Don't analyze the ramifications of what has just been said; instead treat it like the game it is and the insult merely becomes a shuttle to be hit back. Guy: I'm all you've got cutie pie. Instead, don't focus on the insult but on responding quickly. Brevity is helpful here as well; a sarcastic but rambling monologue will not have the same impact.
You should also work on being confident and thoughtful, if you want to navigate the fine line between witty and mean-spirited. Guy: So, wanna go back to my place? Name-calling might again seem like a great outlet for your and frustration, but it works to your opponent's advantage all too easily and isn't that witty. Guy: I want to give myself to you. Indeed, there are websites dedicated specifically to comebacks, providing example after example some good, some not so good. ~Do people trouble you about your outer appearance? That's why we're honoring these 31 people and their amazing, random acts of sarcasm. There is no magic formula for developing a quicker wit, but improving your listening skills can help immensely. Breaking news just in: You're an asshole! Sorry I didn't quite catch that.
Don't get your panties in a bunch. Think of Severus Snape in the Harry Potter series or Oscar Wilde, both good practitioners of sarcasm that is pulled off succinctly and effectively. In most cases, your witty comeback should be sufficient to end the matter there and then. Bob has been missing since Friday. Quick-witted comebacks require some natural talents, but can also be improved with practice and preparation.
Quickly deflect any insults flung your way. Guy: Haven't I seen you someplace before? After all, you have inferiority! Guy: Well it would certainly improve the view in here. The wittiest comebacks are created in direct response to what has been said, not pulled out of a stockpile of witticisms that sort of fit the situation. I noticed the improvement immediately. If you're really good with such comebacks naturally, it usually means you've had to defend yourself a lot in family life, which isn't a great start to life and can leave you constantly being sarcastic, so don't use this as a common way of responding to people. How mature, and leaving it at that.
The wife says, The doctor told me that for a forty-five year old woman, I have the breasts of a eighteen year old. Swearing isn't typically considered witty, but rather a visceral expression of emotions. Don't do it too often, as putting them down is direct and alienating; be sure there is a real need for it. Our time together has just become more effort than you're worth. Remember to keep the comeback short, pointed, and to stop engaging. If you say, Pssh, sure I totally care, I don't care about what you're trying to prove, or Whatever with sarcasm, you aren't reacting and it makes a good comeback.
Good story, but in what chapter do you shut the fuck up? Guy: Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again? It helps to have a set of witty comebacks learned off by heart for such moments. One kid stood up and the teacher was surprised. A witty comeback that seeks to assert your superiority or greater status will usually backfire, because it will turn into a matter of the other person insisting that you think you're too good for me, and so forth. Sometimes there isn't even a need for a witty comeback. Go Fuck Yourself or Fuck You Wow, I bet you even fart glitter. Avoid or superiority in tone of voice. Also, make an expression showing that you are sick of his constant braggy personality and say something like, Oh, so you've come to boast about winning the lottery now, have you? Guy: Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots? But then, what's my own humble opinion against thousands of others? If it's meant to be it's meant to be.