Sometimes the most loving thing a wife can do when her husband is dealing with some sort of blow to his ego or self-worth is to become the aggressor in the bedroom. It makes a lot of women feel insecure and inadequate. . So much for the myth about women needing emotional security to open up sexually. It sounds like the lack of sex is the result of her loss of feelings for you.
Now intercourse is out of the question and she has no desire for anything other than hugs. They derive such satisfaction from building a business, earning money or prestige, or just working hard and accomplishing something that all of their passion, drive, and energy are devoted to work, not you. Here are some telltale signs your wife is no longer interested in you, that should be reason enough for you to worry: Suggested read: 1. In older couples, I believe the gender split is more even or potentially flipped with the men reporting a significantly decreased interest in sex. For more information please visit PortlandSexandRelationshipTherapy. Some 150 commonly prescribed medications are also now known to have a negative impact on desire, from the contraceptive Pill to anti-depressants, painkillers and blood pressure treatments 'Things have just changed,' she says.
She won't talk to me about it. From a Christian perspective, sex is the ultimate expression of physical, emotional, and spiritual unity between a husband and wife. If you're pushing your wife into doing things she'd rather not do, you're squelching her openness and vulnerability. While it may seem perfectly normal for your wife to keep her financial details to herself, it may mean not only a lack of trust but total disinterest in informing you about her life that she leads separate from you. Sexual desire is your interest in sex and in being sexual. We become so stressed out and bone-tired that all we want is time alone, time for ourselves, and time for blessed sleep. They do what needs to be done for the release and then roll over.
Now I'm lucky if it happens at all, and when it does, my orgasms barely register on the climax chart. You present a problem as my wife lost interest in sex. He asks me why and I tell him why: many times, sex is uncomfortable because of the shift in hormones which causes a woman to stay dry. Some say up to 40 million Americans are in a sexless marriage, getting it on fewer than 10 times a year. Often for women, achieving orgasm is not as simple as it is for men. And it is not like I believed I was entitled to it. Paradoxically, women lose sexual desire in relationships faster than men do.
Should I share with her literature on how to solve such problems? I'm sure every guy says this but I am a very sexual person and always have been, and its just difficult not to feel resentful towards her because of it even though I can only imagine how difficult it is to be pregnant. If you're interested, our Counseling staff can provide you with referrals to trained therapists in your area. God created us with desires and hormones! Alyssa is a contributing author to the book Your Brain On Sex, How Smarter Sex Can Change Your Life. Not married, no kids, so I can only try my best to answer the question based on what I know about my fellow girls. The more positive your attitudes are about sex, the greater your desire to be sexual.
The problem is not so much that your husband is rejecting you sexually as it is that, because he is so consumed with something else, he is unable to feel aroused or excited. But somehow we have managed to stay together and have four kids. We had great sex through menopause. We have been quarreling all our marriage life and doing nothing together that can bond us: no dates, no joint projects, in short, nothing in common. Hypoactive sexual desire disorder is the most common sexual complaint among women. Self care falls to the bottom of the list of priorities and accordingly, they feel disconnected from themselves. It could be that you gained weight yes, women care about this too! In fact, she's rated our sex life as a B+ to an A and was genuinely perplexed when I gave it a D-.
Most women I talk to describe feeling as if sex is the only time their partners show them affection. The focus here is addressing when wives turn away from sex within a marriage even though often the scenario is reversed where a husband stops having sex with his wife. You can still get aroused after dealing with chaos;she cannot. I can count on one hand the men with whom I've had head-spinning, knees-turn-to-water sex, and none of these men were my husband. Withholding oneself or sex from a spouse creates resentment, distance and contempt.
This is an ability which will need special nurturing if she's had a history of childhood abuse, date rape, or mistreatment by men. And it can be true that while for many men sex can create closeness and warmth, for many women sex can only happen when those qualities already feel present and strong. If anybody has some helpful advice please comment. Both of these factors are necessary and without one again, change will be hard. And for wives, the sense of betrayal and not being enough for their husbands because of pornography can be heartbreaking.